As it turns out I'm not as tough as I think I am. My nerves of steel are actually non-existent in times like these.
Some of you may know that I was planning on taking a "girls" trip to Savannah, GA to visit my college roommate. Two of my other friends were also going. We were leaving for Kansas City tonight and flying out tomorrow morning...returning Sunday. Obviously, since I'm blogging, I cancelled.
The plan was that Brandyn and Nana were going to team up to care for Bray-Lynne while I was gone. I had each days clothes laid out with post-its for what outfit on which day, I had a list of how much to eat and when, how many naps, etc. etc. I was heading out after Brandyn's slow pitch softball game tonight but I came home and literally panicked.
Tears, sweating, loss of appetite ... I couldn't bring myself to go.
I need my family and that's the bottom line. I thought I needed a break but when it comes right down to it that's not true at all. Truth is, I'd rather bathe, change, feed & rock my precious baby girl to sleep each night than leave. I love my friends and want to spend time with them but I'm not ready to leave just yet. I'm sure there will be a time when I'm ready to leave for a few days but for right now I'm happy right where I am.
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2 comments:
you are in a good place Em!
I don't blame you at all. I didn't leave Kelvey until I had to be in the hospital with early contractions and it was horrible, but she made it! You don't have to leave her until you are ready.
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